UPDATE: Who holds the Championship Belt for worst tagline?

UPDATE: Who holds the Championship Belt for worst tagline?

A little while ago I ranted a bit about what I felt to be some offensively bad copywriting (see below). Recently I heard a line just as head scratching. Now, it was on a podcast, so there’s a good chance it wasn’t written by a professional copywriter … which, right there, shows again the dangers of DIY marketing. Anyway, here it is.

It was during a spot for thetrackr.com which sounds like a pretty neat device that uses RFID to help you track your keys, wallet, etc. using crowd-sourced GPS. Great product. So why tag your spot with the line “The hardest thing you’ll ever have to find is our website”?

Anyway, here’s the original post …

I like to think that there’s an some sort of Intercontinental Championship Belt … the holder of which lays claim to the most remarkable unsuccessful ad line of the day. And right now that belt is proudly held aloft, or triumphantly slung across the shoulder of The Wise Company® — purveyors of freeze-dried and dehydrated foods for emergency preparedness and camping — who are running DR radio spots featuring:imgres

“Don’t waste your next emergency on an empty stomach.”

I have absolutely no doubt they have a great product. It looks like they’ve created a wonderful assortment of tasty meals.

But I just can’t get past “Don’t waste your next emergency on an empty stomach.” And, I’m having a hard time imagining just who would hear that line and think:

“I TOTALLY wasted that last hurricane. Not making THAT mistake again.”

“That tornado would have been AWESOME if I just had a nice plate of reconstituted lasagna.”

“My rumbly tummy was definitely the worst part of that crippling blizzard.”

I could go on … and on …. and on some more. But I think you get the picture.

I think the thing that bothers me most is besides being, well, just strange, the line also fails because it doesn’t address a pain point real people are likely to actually experience. And I imagine there’s a pretty long list of real consumer insights that drive the purchase of an emergency food supply. Why not just leverage one of those?

Oh, in case you’re wondering who Wise stole the belt from, it’s our friends at Con Edison, and their immortal line Everything Matters which, I imagine, was presented with great brio: “See, we covered EVERYTHING in just two words! See?”

I wonder how long Wise will hold the belt. Stay tuned …

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